Family Ties...

After 3 months of travel, touching down in Italy felt a little like coming home. It always does. Even though each time I go I am reminded that I am more American than I care to admit. Italy is a refuge, a solace, a fantasy. I've been escaping to this place since I was little. It's always been a place where I could relax and reflect. And even though I still had almost 4 more months of travel ahead of me, Italy was not a place to linger but rather a pit stop; a place to recharge my batteries and take inventory of where I was at the halfway point.
Instead it turned into an all-you-can-eat buffet of food and guilt. That is also Italy for you. My family; Aunts, Uncles, cousins, friends, all bent over backwards trying to get me to eat, drink & stay a little longer. If food is love then I was showered with constant kisses all throughout my Italian journey. I felt heavy both physically & emotionally by the weight of the food and the love that it symbolized.
When you live far from your country of birth, there are always going to be people you love who are far away. And though a part of me wanted to stay, ultimately I knew I had to finish what I began.
It felt selfish.
I felt guilty.
Traveling alone is lonely and here was a country filled with people who wanted me to stay.
But vacations end.
And you can't live in a fantasy.
There is a comfort in being with my family that is dark. It's like the part in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy falls asleep in the poppy field.
I get cozy and sleepy and warm and forget that there is a mission; a goal.
The work of living is tiring and sometimes it's nice to sleep and let someone else take care of it all. The old patterns may not serve you but they are familiar and require little effort unlike the constant attention needed to figure out your next stop, your next step and how to get there.

Got a touch of poetic inspiration as the bus left the station and I waved a final goodbye to my "Zio".

Train station in Carrara...close to where I used to live from 0-5 years old.

"Time flies
No sooner have you set down your roots
Then the time comes to fly again
Though greener pastures await you
The thought of sunsets remains
The dark and the cold and the hole that's left as you're walking away
I want to hold the entire universe in my hand
I want to hold the whole entire world in my hand
I want to have my entire universe safe in my hand
Squeeze it tight
Keep it warm
Have it all
Then I could never stray too far from you
From all that is love and all that is dear
Oh these thoughts
Oh the fear
Oh the fear
Oh the fear
To leave
To leave the ones you love"