Reverb11 DAY 17 Bhakti (Devotion)

What did you devote yourself to in 2011? How will you devote your energy in the coming year? 

I came down to the Turks & Caicos for a job back in early 2009.  The first 6months was a whirlwind; being the new kid on island; being a part of the adventure of a big hotel opening; adjusting and learning and having new experiences.  By 2010, I was fully devoting myself to my job; feeling responsible for holding everything together and pushing it forward.  By 2011; having given everything and more to work, I was exhausted.  And so I didn't consciously devote myself to anything this year.  For the first half of 2011, I was in survival mode.  The latter part of 2011, I devoted myself to the concept of devotion, perhaps.  What is important to me in this world?  What can I get passionate about that will feed me and not drain me?  How do I even decide what or who to devote myself to?  
If I am being honest, much of 2011 was spent devoting my time, my energy, my heart, my soul to someone who was there but not necessarily interested in devoting himself to me in the same way.  I think I am still understanding my concept of devotion to another.  I have always been someone who dives in headfirst.  In my experience; finding someone you connect with intimately (and I'm not talking sex here), is rare and when I get a taste of it, I don't hesitate.  I jump in with both feet and don't look back.  When I find that connection I become devout and loyal to a biblical extreme.  No wonder I can't seem to find an object able to reciprocate.  It's beautiful and passionate but also unrealistic and unhealthy.  Devotion demands that the object of devotion is elevated to God-like stature.  I'm not sure that ever works out whether your devotion lies in a person, place or thing.  Perhaps devotion only works conceptually when directed at something abstract rather than concrete.  And so my wish for 2011 is rather than be devoted to a person, I shall devote myself to love in all forms.  Rather than devote myself to work, I shall devote myself to service.  Rather than devote myself to having adventure, I shall devote myself to cultivating experiences.